Showery thoughts

It is the self-destructive man in us that revel. We forget tomorrow, yet we just want everything to end. We are weird, sometimes we want the ends, and sometimes we hate that the end is coming. We capitalize on the past to bear the misery of the present for a fantastic future. Ahhh “Should I drink coffee or should kill myself” do not you think that “Sisyphus” had the perfect ending, so interestingly beautiful. Sisyphus must be truly happy. Do you copy? Maybe it is just some blank infinity, so do not worry yourself. I have walked this road so many times, the fall, the gloomy cloudy cold weather. It is not the same place, but it feels the same. The same path at least. One may at some point recognize the ending. Yet, one closes his eyes and hope for a better journey at least. It is difficult for one to keep his sanity. It is the pit of self-destructive insanity that I truly fear.  I may be fulfilling my self-destructive fantasy of falling in the same exact pit. The funny th...

A couple of days ago, I decided not to take my usual route to the office. I lusted for a change, new thoughts and ideas. I was walking down this new road, the sun was a little shy, taking cover behind the unending stream of clouds. It was not cold, a little chilly, this kind of cold weather you enjoy when you are having a hot drink, preferably a good quality coffee with the occasional good quality cigarette that does not leave an after taste. But then, just for a brief moment in the current fabric of the space-time continuum, the sun decided to overcome its shyness and unleash its warm beautiful graceful light. It was as if the sunlight hit me in the face, for a second there I was disoriented, yet I felt complete and enlightened. I felt I was disintegrated into the smallest of the atoms, I was the air you breathe, the small particles of dust travelling around you, and I was the sun rays the passer byes enjoyed. I was –again- connected to the universe, I was the universe and the unive...