In the year 2036, humanity made its first alien contact.
They called themselves a nation — a carbon-based one, genetically familiar, sharing over 60% of our DNA. But no one expected...
alien smart bananas.
Our human-made artificial intelligence, emotionless by design, quickly calculated the optimal path forward. It ordered all farming systems worldwide to plant bananas.
Meanwhile, in Egypt, the authoritarian high priest decided this occasion deserved a monument. He built a lighthouse in the shape of a banana. It was... bantastic.
When the alien nation finally arrived, they demanded nothing but land.
“Bananas are originally from Earth,” they declared. “We are home.”
Global farming AIs, consulting game theory models, concluded the most balanced outcome: each nation would give a precise percentage of their territory to the alien bananas.
The Egyptians, ever resourceful, tried to bribe them instead — with specially crafted banana-flavored shisha tobacco.
The aliens were outraged.
“This is banananism!” they cried.
They offered Egypt an ultimatum: either transform themselves into bananas... or remain banana slaves forever.
Years later, a lone traveler wandered through Egypt and wrote in his journal:
“The aliens were stumped. They came to enslave, but the Egyptians embraced it. They became banana slaves with pride — until the bananas, confused and disillusioned, gave up ruling. They took the last planted banana and left Earth behind.”
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