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The day In have died. Part 3: It was only this and nothing more

I am suffocating or having a heart attack, I don’t know, I am no expert, yet I feel like I am dying, that is what I am sure about. I just returned home after along working day. A long work day and a marathon of chain smoking, I mark the opening of the fourth pack, while I smelled the freshly brewed third patch of coffee. I just returned home, when I felt my left side aching, aching so terribly, I could feel my heart pump so quickly and so strong. I felt getting warmer and warmer, or is it the surrounding atmosphere? I cannot focus properly. I tried to walk to the nearest window for fresh air. I tried to open it but in vain. It was so difficult.  I tried to breath, but it was becoming impossible. I was very hot, unbearably hot, sweating as well. I was just standing near the window, helplessly struggling, trying to buy more time.Buy more time? For what? To spend it aimlessly? Would I change the course of my life if I am destined to live? I do not think so; I think I will retake all the choices again if I have to restart my life, wouldn't you too?

At that point I felt weird: cold and yet still sweating. I felt I was light, and as if I was losing weight. A part of me was floating;something is being lift away from me. I don’t know what. I was trying to breathe,while what I think is bidding farewell to the living thing inside me. I was looking through the window: the sun was going down, bloody red skies instead of bright blue ones, birds were returning to their nests, the day ending, so is my life.

I was suffocating. I was dying. I just looked for the last time through the window, trying to breathe while my heart was trying to commit suicide. That is when I saw him, I saw him, I can swear. I was there, just across that small waterway, standing there gazing at me. I think he was trying to say something, or was he trying to listen? I am not quite sure. I am looking at me? Am I getting mad here? Maybe I am dreaming and this is just a vision, maybe while looking at this very exact place at this exact time a trajectory of an alternative universe was projected before me. This is just absurd; for sure it is just hallucinations. Isn't it? Or Is it?

Floating was I, loosing sense, hope and life.  Lifted up high, while, ironically my feet are still touching the ground. It was at the final stage. I was gazing as life was yielding to the temptation of leaving for another place, I hope a better one. I am being elevated. Pain was traversing all over my body, pinching like needles. I am sure you know how it feels, don’t you?  Wait a second, who are you? It was only this, and nothing more. 
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